Monthly Archives: March 2018

How a cat gets it done

My fuzzy espionage friend Mikazuki and I are pleased to present you with this brief visual guide illustrating The Four Stages of Kitty-Induced Aggravation, as established by famous Swiss animal behaviorists in the 1960s. However, be advised this is for educational purposes only. My cat is a professional. Please don’t try this at home…

Stage 1, Denial: “Mika, you son of a bitch, DO NOT even think about it!”

KuroMika 1910-1

Stage 2, Anger: “Goddamn it, Mika, get the FUCK down from there!!”

KuroMika 1911-2

Stage 3, Bargaining: “Mika-chan, please don’t do that. Mika, please come down. Mika-chan?”

KuroMika 1912-3

Stage 4, Acceptance: “Jesus Christ, he did it. I’m impressed. Now I need the step ladder.”

KuroMika 1913-4

(Brisbane, California, March 2018. See more of Mika-chan and his brother Kuro-chan here. And see my other work here and here.)

How to knit a cell phone

There are no roses for us
but the ones we make
from Japanese paper
made in China, by the way,
that we buy in vast retail spaces
stocked with glue and glitter and ribbon
and blank books of impermanent quality
with which we build volumes
of memory and dreams.

Calling occupants of interplanetary craft store, Colma, California 2018

The dreams are for ourselves, supposedly.
The memory is for anthropologists, hopefully.
They’ll see how we were
then marvel at how dull it all was,
and wonder why we wasted our time
compiling scrapbooks,
seeing our children,
or writing poems.

And they will envy us that we tried,
goddamn we really tried,
and that we left behind for them
enough of a world to pity.

Calling occupants of interplanetary craft stores….

(Michaels, Colma, California, March 2018. See my other work here and here.)

Ink jets and heart attacks

She ran the dead’s carpeting
throughout the office supply stacks.
She wanted a toy, not pencils nor tacks.
She was bright, shiny cuteness
in an Office Depot®,
or was it an OfficeMax®?
You know,
wherever the corporate types go
for overpriced ink and free heart attacks…

RAW-ElCamino 160-1

(At Staples in South San Francisco, California, February 2016. See my other work here and here.)

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