Kaiser, my baby

I’m a lousy husband. I find it impossible to hang around my wife’s hospital room for hours watching her writhe in pain while the nurses and her doctor wait for her condition to stabilize. When it does, they’ll determine if she needs surgery. In the meantime, I’ve been bringing her things that she needs, and drinking too much when I’m home. This is all new and overwhelming to me. My wife’s the toughest son of a bitch I’ve ever known, and I can’t take away her pain. I can’t do anything at all right now but love her.

And take a few pictures, to maybe make some good come of this in the form of my inadequate art…

KaiserMyBaby 13-4

South San Francisco and the El Camino Real from the roof of the Kaiser Permanente parking garage.

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Colma Creek from the roof of the parking garage.

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Hallway on my wife’s ward.

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Hospital gift shop couture.

Kaiser Permanente, South San Francisco, California 2017


  1. Reply
    Dave Spiro January 11, 2017

    Being a caregiver is often just as difficult as it is being a patient. You’re not a lousy husband. You’re there for her, and that is the best thing you can do at this point. She needs comfort and love from you as much as she needs the medical care. Hang in there.

    • Reply
      Dan Ryan January 11, 2017


  2. Reply
    Tobin Fraley January 11, 2017

    Dan, being a patient is ridiculously difficult and scary. Being a bystander is worse because you feel completely helpless as you watch someone you love struggle. The best thing you can do is be you. Don’t talk to her about the situation, talk to her about the photos you took and the world around you. Talk about the things you always talk about because the worst part about being sick is that normalcy goes away. That’s what you can bring back.

    • Reply
      Dan Ryan January 11, 2017

      Ye gods, normal and me are barely on speaking terms. But thanks.

  3. Reply
    Nancy January 11, 2017

    Dan, when you see Michele please tell her that Alex and I send our love and hope for her speedy recovery. Take care of yourself while you’re taking care of her. Sometimes it’s not easy but it’s important!

    • Reply
      Dan Ryan February 10, 2017

      I did, and thank you for caring.

  4. Reply

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